Just me.

Hello my dear God-

It’s just me, thinking over the last few weeks.  I came before you thinking I had my eyes open this Christmas season, presuming to look for opportunities to serve you but more often seeing the rush and the nastiness and the mess of lives and being put off by all that.  So, I pulled back into my shell, the shell that I most often want others to see as serene but is probably more like condescending, and waited for the next time.

Maybe I wasn’t really looking.  Maybe I just knew I should be, and the vulgarity of life showed itself as I expected it to and I looked no further.  Forgive me for my impervious shell-like life, for my blindness, for my lack of grace.

Your Grace, dear Lord, is unlike anything we can accomplish.  Your grace which saved me, your grace which looks past the ugliness and forgives my sin – again and again – is the most precious gift ever.  It’s the grace that gave me Jesus Christ – who showed so humanly the cost of giving it all.

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